Living Without the -ving: Episode 1

Low self esteem is dangerous. It can really harm people. Once you have it, it either stays with you or comes and goes. It can never really go unless you surround yourself with people who uplift you so therefore you can uplift yourself. It took me 10 years to realise this. Which is sad.

I use to want to surround myself, when I was 13/14, with fake people. People who treated me badly seemed to attract me. It seemed that making people love was more important that treasuring people who already did. Till this day, I don’t understand why.

I had friends that would even insult me and belittle me, why did I stay amongst those people? Why did I empower them more and more. Because that’s simply all they wanted. They needed a weakling to feel superior.

But that’s not me anymore. I guess you have to go trough things to learn more things and know the difference between negative and positive energy. However, why did getting hurt have to be apart of it? I’d rather have been taught a life lesson in a classroom for like 3 hours than throughout my whole life and putting my esteem at risk.

Not only that but my life at home… I never understood why going through horrible things would make you feel stronger, because that’s one of things that I don’t feel. I feel tired and not motivated.

These are things that make me, me.

Or maybe I can change that. Eating better? Taking walks? Painting for no reason? Playing Sims 3? Going window shopping?
Okay. I’ll try that for next two weeks. We’ll see if things improve.

Till next time on ‘Living Without The -ving’…


Stay Fetch!

Peace et Bisou.

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