Living Without the -ving: Episode 2

Everyday I wake up feeling whether it's possible to not feel like a failure. Is there anyone that feels like how I feel? I always say, every disappointment comes with a blessing.... But how come my blessings are not here yet? I pray, cry, plead on my knees and even people who don't look up to the heavens like I do, have it better than me. Why is that? All these questions and no-one to answer me.
Without trying to sound all corny and stuff, I'm alone in this land. A land with a mountain. A mountain where at the top, it has a door. A gold door. That door. That door is filled with my dreams and future successes. I'm trying to get there. I REALLY am. To my parents, they feel I'm just chilling at the bottom, waiting for a flying carpet to take me there. Well, I'm not. I mean, yes, that'll be way easier, but life isn't easy. But with everything that I've been through in life so far, you'd think someone would give me a flying carpet. A flying carpet to take me to my dreams and wonders, to that glorious gold door.


Everyday, that mountain gets higher and higher. I must look like an insect to that gold door. Adding more years until I can get up there. Why is this happening to me? It's not fair. Yes, life isn't fair. You're reminded that everyday. Then again, the ones that are told that are the ones that don't live the best life anyways. You see anyone saying that to a billionaire? I don't.


This idea, life? What is it besides living everyday for everyday and giving everything you have just to be slapped in the face with failure. The escape is hard. You want to feel happy but let me tell you that grin right now falls back to a frown as soon as you remember. The remembrance of failure is there at the back of your brain, always. It depends on the day to remind you.


I know. I don't want to be reminded. Who does? But moving forward is the true stepping stone. I'm moving forward, gradually. It's a lot of work, of course. Climbing up that mountain is a lot of work. The equipment you need to climb up the mountain is easy to find, it's the mindset you need in order to find the equipment.        So what equipment do you need in life to climb and dodge all those obstacles and get to the top?I'm still trying to figure that out. I think a lot of people are....


But when I find out, I'll tell you. I promise. I promise because I don't wish what I'm going through to anyone. I'm too kind. Maybe being too kind has gotten me here. When I find out whether or not that's the case, I'll tell you too.


It only takes one blink to figure out where you are. How many times do we blink in a day? Must be loads, but with all that, I still can't figure it out. Sad? No. Slow? Extremely.I could take the story of The Tortoise and The Hare to make me feel better, but we all know in the real world, it's never like that. Well, for me life hasn't been like that. Then again, true success isn't rushed, therefore I shouldn't rush, but I should make sure I accomplish successfully in each step I take to climb my mountain(s).


As you can probably notice, my mind and my thoughts are truly troubled and filled with rhetorical questions but I will find all the answers, very soon.



With no rush included.